Larry Franklin's blog

Some of you folks have just lived too dadgum long

There have been occasions the past 43 years when I have written the “memorial” column about someone who has died.
I don’t understand why some people refer to dying as passing and to the person who died as having passed.
The Google says referring to death as passing away comes from Judiasm.
We say cows die. We say dogs die. But Uncle Fred passes away.
I refuse to use the euphemism. If someone has died, I say they died.
There are other, more colorful ways to refer to death, of course. Kick the bucket. Cash in the chips. Buy the farm.

The newspaper biz is not all glitz and glamour

On today’s stroll down memory lane, we’ll take a look at the dirty underside of the newspaper business. Let’s call it crimes and those who commit them.
I’d not been here long before I learned that, as a reporter, part of my job was to report crimes, suspected crimes, alleged crimes and things that might be crimes. I’d have to talk to the police, the criminals, attorneys and (rarely) judges.

Thinking back to the time I thought John McCain was going to kiss me

Faithful readers will remember last week I told you there’s a lot I want to talk with you about before I leave. Actually, one-time readers will remember that if the one-time was last week.
Anyhoo, this job has allowed me to do a lot of really cool, really interesting, really fun things. I have also had to do some things that were hard and some things that were sad.

There I go, turn the page

I just can’t work in a county without Frank Stovall or Greg Alexander.
In the March 8 issue of Clinton’s award-winning hometown newspaper, we reported on Page 1A that Clinton City Manager Stovall and Chamber of Commerce CEO Alexander are high-tailing it.
Stovall is going back home to Virginia and Alexander is going to Hilton Head. They’ve both done a great job and will be missed, blah, blah, blah.
Hopefully, as you’ve worked your way back to this page today, you noticed on Page 1A that your humble scribe and publisher is retiring at the end of June.

Alternative facts may be a good thing

It’s probably hard to tell much about me, given the tiny size of the picture of me that accompanies this column. So, to summarize, I’m 6’2”, 195 lbs. with flowing blonde hair and flawless skin. I have 6-pack abs and long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I wear a size 12 shoe and have large hands (in case you’re wondering).
That, faithful readers, is what’s known as alternative facts.
Presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway probably knew, as soon as she said it, that the term “alternative facts” was going to come back to bite her.

This is the year we decided to stop pretending

This year, we finally decided to end the charade (I pronounce it sher-rod). For years we had pretended. At first it was for the kids and then we hung on because of the grandkids. It ended in 2016. I didn’t shed a tear. She vacillated until I put my foot down. It was over.
What we decided to do is not the answer for every couple. The friends with whom we’ve shared the news are stunned. Most of them can’t imagine doing what we’ve done.
I’m going to come right out and say it: we didn’t have a Christmas tree this year. I have advocated this for years. To no avail.

The Coach plays his final round here on earth

He’d get mad if this was sad, so it won’t be. I hope you’ll be smiling when you finish reading this.
In fact, I’ll bet Tommy Addison hasn’t stopped smiling since he took his last, labored breath on Nov. 27 and then took his first, full breath looking at the face of his saviour.
I’ve known Tommy since he graduated from PC in 1977. I had dealings with him when he co-owned Home Petroleum with his brother-in-law Ned Handback and then more often when he moved over to PC as head golf coach.

Why are you surprised that you got arrested?

Riddle me this: why do people look sad in mug shots?
Most of the time, people get arrested because they’ve been dumb. In addition to being criminal.
They can’t be so dumb they’re surprised they were arrested, can they?
I have a Facebook friend (who is pretty close to being a real friend) who, from time to time, seeks Facebook friend input about how he should pose for his mug shot.
It’s just a matter of time, he contends. And he wants to be ready. No sad or surprised mug shot for him.

The long-awaited, much-anticipated update on the grandkids

Since you asked, here’s an update of all the grandchildren.
Wyatt is 13. He’s still into sports in a big way and still makes really good grades.
He made all As on several of his report cards last year. After he got one of them, his daddy said, “Just think what he could do if he studied.”
“He’d get all As,” I said.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember he’s a teenager because his favorite thing in life is to sneak up on somebody and scare them. Sometimes his mother gets him back and he squeals like a girl.

I've fallen (twice) and I can't get up

OK, so I’ve fallen twice in the last month. Not much hurt other than my pride. A little sore both times, but no bleeding. And, my lawyers require me to say, no alcohol was involved either time.
If you really love me like you claim to, you’ll know I celebrated my 65th birthday in June. Both falls have been since then. I think the two things – my birthday and falling – are related. And not in a familial way.

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My Clinton News

P.O. Box 180
513 North Broad St.
Clinton, SC 29325
Phone: (864) 833-1900
Fax: (864) 833-1902

 

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