Larry Franklin's blog

Alternative facts may be a good thing

It’s probably hard to tell much about me, given the tiny size of the picture of me that accompanies this column. So, to summarize, I’m 6’2”, 195 lbs. with flowing blonde hair and flawless skin. I have 6-pack abs and long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I wear a size 12 shoe and have large hands (in case you’re wondering).
That, faithful readers, is what’s known as alternative facts.
Presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway probably knew, as soon as she said it, that the term “alternative facts” was going to come back to bite her.

This is the year we decided to stop pretending

This year, we finally decided to end the charade (I pronounce it sher-rod). For years we had pretended. At first it was for the kids and then we hung on because of the grandkids. It ended in 2016. I didn’t shed a tear. She vacillated until I put my foot down. It was over.
What we decided to do is not the answer for every couple. The friends with whom we’ve shared the news are stunned. Most of them can’t imagine doing what we’ve done.
I’m going to come right out and say it: we didn’t have a Christmas tree this year. I have advocated this for years. To no avail.

The Coach plays his final round here on earth

He’d get mad if this was sad, so it won’t be. I hope you’ll be smiling when you finish reading this.
In fact, I’ll bet Tommy Addison hasn’t stopped smiling since he took his last, labored breath on Nov. 27 and then took his first, full breath looking at the face of his saviour.
I’ve known Tommy since he graduated from PC in 1977. I had dealings with him when he co-owned Home Petroleum with his brother-in-law Ned Handback and then more often when he moved over to PC as head golf coach.

Why are you surprised that you got arrested?

Riddle me this: why do people look sad in mug shots?
Most of the time, people get arrested because they’ve been dumb. In addition to being criminal.
They can’t be so dumb they’re surprised they were arrested, can they?
I have a Facebook friend (who is pretty close to being a real friend) who, from time to time, seeks Facebook friend input about how he should pose for his mug shot.
It’s just a matter of time, he contends. And he wants to be ready. No sad or surprised mug shot for him.

The long-awaited, much-anticipated update on the grandkids

Since you asked, here’s an update of all the grandchildren.
Wyatt is 13. He’s still into sports in a big way and still makes really good grades.
He made all As on several of his report cards last year. After he got one of them, his daddy said, “Just think what he could do if he studied.”
“He’d get all As,” I said.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember he’s a teenager because his favorite thing in life is to sneak up on somebody and scare them. Sometimes his mother gets him back and he squeals like a girl.

I've fallen (twice) and I can't get up

OK, so I’ve fallen twice in the last month. Not much hurt other than my pride. A little sore both times, but no bleeding. And, my lawyers require me to say, no alcohol was involved either time.
If you really love me like you claim to, you’ll know I celebrated my 65th birthday in June. Both falls have been since then. I think the two things – my birthday and falling – are related. And not in a familial way.

Do you eat supper with Mark Escude every night?

If you’re like me – and I know so many of you are – you enjoy sitting in front of the television to eat supper/dinner.
I didn’t get to do that when I was a sprout for a couple of reasons. One reason is my mother wouldn’t allow it. The second reason is we didn’t have a TV.
Wow. It’s out there now. I am really, really old. I’m that guy who tells the “when I was your age” stories that all the young people love so much.

Y'all need to stop picking on Melania

I may vote for Donald Trump.
Before I explain that startling admission, let me say I planned to swear off politics for awhile. It’s just not worth the hassle. And some of y’all are just plain batcrap crazy and, frankly, some of the things you write when you’re social medializing scare me.
But I feel I must use this precious space today to defend my dear friend Melania Trump.

This would be a great year to be a political scientist

A good friend of mine is a retired political science professor. He’s spending his retirement enjoying life in Charleston, traveling and writing a monthly column for this newspaper. Faithful readers will know I’m talking about Dr. David Gillespie.
I can’t help but think – and I haven’t asked him – at times this year he’s regretted not being in the classroom. The politics of 2016 are gold, Jerry, gold. (Seinfeld, if you don’t recognize the reference.)

What did you do to celebrate a day that poets will write about?

June 3 was a big day for y’all. I hope you went to church before you started the celebration. If you had a parade, I missed it, but I bet it was nice.
If you’re scratching your head because you’ve forgotten this important day, consider that the first bikini was worn in public in Paris in 1946. But that’s not what you were so excited about.
Stan the Man Musial hit his 300th home run in 1955, but that pales in comparison to what we celebrated.
Howard Cosell’s first TV show was in 1957 on June 3, but so what?

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