Blogs

I've fallen (twice) and I can't get up

OK, so I’ve fallen twice in the last month. Not much hurt other than my pride. A little sore both times, but no bleeding. And, my lawyers require me to say, no alcohol was involved either time.
If you really love me like you claim to, you’ll know I celebrated my 65th birthday in June. Both falls have been since then. I think the two things – my birthday and falling – are related. And not in a familial way.

Do you eat supper with Mark Escude every night?

If you’re like me – and I know so many of you are – you enjoy sitting in front of the television to eat supper/dinner.
I didn’t get to do that when I was a sprout for a couple of reasons. One reason is my mother wouldn’t allow it. The second reason is we didn’t have a TV.
Wow. It’s out there now. I am really, really old. I’m that guy who tells the “when I was your age” stories that all the young people love so much.

Y'all need to stop picking on Melania

I may vote for Donald Trump.
Before I explain that startling admission, let me say I planned to swear off politics for awhile. It’s just not worth the hassle. And some of y’all are just plain batcrap crazy and, frankly, some of the things you write when you’re social medializing scare me.
But I feel I must use this precious space today to defend my dear friend Melania Trump.

This would be a great year to be a political scientist

A good friend of mine is a retired political science professor. He’s spending his retirement enjoying life in Charleston, traveling and writing a monthly column for this newspaper. Faithful readers will know I’m talking about Dr. David Gillespie.
I can’t help but think – and I haven’t asked him – at times this year he’s regretted not being in the classroom. The politics of 2016 are gold, Jerry, gold. (Seinfeld, if you don’t recognize the reference.)

What did you do to celebrate a day that poets will write about?

June 3 was a big day for y’all. I hope you went to church before you started the celebration. If you had a parade, I missed it, but I bet it was nice.
If you’re scratching your head because you’ve forgotten this important day, consider that the first bikini was worn in public in Paris in 1946. But that’s not what you were so excited about.
Stan the Man Musial hit his 300th home run in 1955, but that pales in comparison to what we celebrated.
Howard Cosell’s first TV show was in 1957 on June 3, but so what?

Are we certain that guns don't kill people?

Guns don’t kill people. Muslims do. There. Problem solved in six words. The only problem is that guns do, in fact, kill people when you have a murderous idiotic with his finger on the trigger, regardless of whether that finger is attached to a Muslim or a Baptist. The AR-15 is designed to kill humans quickly and efficiently. One of them killed 26 people in a Connecticut elementary school in less than five minutes. Another AR-15 killed 14 people in San Bernardino and 14 people in a theatre in Aurora, Colorado. Last weekend, an AR-15 was used to kill 49 people in a bar in Orlando.

To shoot the gorilla or not to shoot the gorilla

Following the brouhaha over the gorilla being shot to death in the Cincinnati Zoo, I conducted a survey that is as valid as any of the political surveys being done with results coming in from five states.
Seventy-five percent of those surveyed think the gorilla should have been shot and killed. Nineteen percent think the zoo was wrong in shooting the gorilla. Six percent think the mother of the child should have been shot.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, use The Google or move on to another column because I’m not going to explain it to you.

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